After consulting with Ian about my crush on his friend, Josh, for advice at the end of the school year, Ian moved on to liking another person during that brief period of time. I admitted to him that I had a tiny crush on him 1.5 years ago but was told by a girlfriend of mine (17F, Marie) that Arnold was really shitty and manipulative, to which Arnold said that she (actually one of his hookups) was being manipulative (bc according to him, even though he clearly said he didn’t want a relationship, she got angry at him for not dating(?) her after their hookup and spread malicious rumours about him to her friends, causing him to lose a large chunk of his social circle, etc.). You don't want to be sued and end up losing your anal virginity with bubba in jail. So, I respected his decision, but told him that since he doesn’t want any physical intimacy, I wanted to end the way we were talking, and become platonic friends again.
I understood his position so we decided to keep it casual and for some dumb reason, continued flirting through text for a month or two (turns out he was just bad at saying no to me, and admitted to wanting my attention and love and emotional support) but when he came back to visit Canada during December, he didn’t want to do anything physical with me. Admittedly, I was confused at first (since he was the one who said he wanted sth casual); I felt a little hurt because I felt used (as in, for his pillar of emotional support), but I later realized we simply just didn’t know what we were doing and were bad at communicating what we wanted (neither of us had been in relationships). Though I wasn’t exactly pressured into doing anything for him, I was also slightly disappointed that he just wanted to hookup rather than actually getting to know me or become friends.
I wasn’t exactly sure if it would be dumb of me to simply hookup with him so I asked around a few friends, and half of them said there’s no harm in it while the other half said he was definitely a fuckboy and that I shouldn’t play into his games esp since I have no experience with relationship or hooking up. I said sure, go there to greet him, and was surprised to find Arnold standing beside him (internally I felt the situation was a bit awkward since I thought Arnold didn’t know I was into Vincent and Vincent didn’t know Arnold asked to hookup). He then brought up that this girl and other people always misjudge him and his friend, Vincent, to be fuckboys, but he said that people simply don’t understand them well enough (I was a bit taken aback Arnold and Vincent knew each other but at the time, I just said "oh you guys are friends? Huh" and half-joked that I thought his friend was cute). I also was a bit taken aback that he wanted to "hangout" afterschool (under the pretext that he wants to get to know me more) at his house but I thought his parents would at least be at home.
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